How do I deal with hatred for my brother?

Q. Why do I have a pointless severe hatred to my little brother? Why do I have a severe hatred for my little brother?….I don’t know why but I really hate my little brother everyday I feel like killing him. Just something about him I hate. (Mike)

A. Everyone has conflict with their brothers and sisters because it is always a difficult time adjusting to new siblings when they arrive, especially if you were there first. However, your feelings actually include trying to take bad action which shows an extreme amount of jealousy in you which needs to be addressed because bad thoughts merely keeps you feeling terrible and destroy you in the end.

It seems likely that you feel left out of things with your parents, you believe you are not getting as much attention as he is, you don’t feel as worthy and welcomed, that he has usurped your place as the favourite in the family, you perhaps feel excluded and unwanted, and, most of all, that your parents LOVE him more than you. But your parents love you both and value you both. What happens is that new kids always attract attention initially, because they are new to the household and need looking after, until they learn to look after themselves.

Don’t be too jealous of your brother because your parents love you too and would hate anything to happen to either of you. In fact, if you start trying to really love him, you will begin to feel better about yourself too because you can start the sharing process and looking after each other. If you still feel animosity towards him, and you don’t want to talk to your parents, try talking to someone you can trust to get some counselling. That is very important for your own development and self esteem.

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