What do you do when that little, green eyed monster, as it’s so often called, jealousy bites you? It can happen to the best of couples, no matter what stage your relationship is in. Sometimes, it feels like there is no defense against this ridge building phenomenon. Most people are not jealous by nature but jealousy is usually put into action by some event, situation or another person.

If you are insecure about your relationship and very dependent on your lover you are likely to be jealous. After jealousy creeps in we begin to spy on our lover, worrying about the situation and reviewing the evidence. Suspicion is a strong emotion here.

If we decide there is a threat to our love, we can have a very wide range of responses like clinging dependency, violent rage at the competitor or the partner, self-criticism, and depression with suicidal thoughts. But is there any way to conquer this feeling and overcome jealousy?

Here are some ways you can handle jealousy

1. Isolate the cause of jealousy. You may think that jealousy is caused by your partner looking sexy or by a certain person at work. But that isn’t the real cause. That is just a symptom. Try to understand what the real cause is, so that you can then work on finding a solution.
2. Focus on eliminating one jealousy trigger. You also need to realise that jealousy can be overcome easily. So start out by focusing on an activity where you work through one of the main triggers for your jealousy and try to find the cause.
3. Build up your self-esteem. Most of the jealousy situations are caused by the jealous lovers feeling that they are not good enough for their partners. They feel inadequate and they feel that their partner would leave them for someone else, if given half a chance. So one key thing to work on is to build up your self-esteem.

When jealous behaviour becomes a problem, it’s most often a manifestation of the jealous person’s own insecurities and self-esteem issues. Here are some of the most obvious [1] signs to know if you are jealous of your partner.

Michael Douglas is an author, relationship expert and a webmaster of Love-Lectures.com, who provides [2] free relationship advice and love advice to help couples and singles in building healthy and successful relationships.